guess point form is easier to read compared to para by para:

these are what some ppl are saying/ telling/ spreading/ and many more, and i just want to clear it all for now.  so after reading it. stop commenting/ messaging me weird stuff. and some just scare me for that instant after reading them.

• i do not have split personality
  • is just some mood swing when thinking about some stuff
  • yes, i can be ultra high one moment, and next moment, i can be a girl without any facial expression nor to even disturb you if you're sitting near me. cant i just think of some sad stuff at that moment and i just cant or rather do not further trying to fake a smile and let you guys shoot at it?
  • and for goodness sake, every human has happy and sad time, has quiet and noisy time. you are in no right to comment that much. unless you're one sadistic person who only have unhappiness in your life only.
• i am not undergoing any form of counseling or so.
  • i know after encountering so many downpour, its hard to even put on a smile or wadeva.
  • i know for normal people, they will probably just hug their friends and cry. sorry i dont, for now i only hug my toys and cry.
  • yes, im trying hard to put on a brave front. i just do not like people to worry about me.
  • and no, im not talking too those professional counselor, but i do have some ex working friends who are currently pursuing studies relating to counseling or so. and yes, they maybe future counselor as of now, but still not a qualified one. so is not equal to coounseling. however, they did not counsel me or wad when we meet up, just pure chatting and catching up.
• i do not have any foolish thoughts running through my tiny winy little brain. stop asking me to shake off those committing suicide, slit waist and wadsoeva lame shit.
  • firstly, i got no guts to do so, and i treasure my life.
  • secondly, im not that selfish to die before my parents do.
  • thirdly, im not that naive to do all these lame shits.

• lost a relationship
• get to realise that there's some faggots acting angel entering my life and constantly rubbing salt on my wounds with me unknowingly who the hell did it..
• one of my paternal grandparent was hosiptalised. but, am glad to say, he's discharged already.
• and finally i threw a ultra big bomb to my aunts and let them know that im not that quiet as they thought. is just that i find it a waste of saliva to even explain or to change the way their mind functioning. simple words to describe: selfish and unreasonable.
• i almost lost my poor hamster. and lucky i found him near my cousin's bike's tyre.
• ltr on i have ca3 paper, and im still not asleep.
• 4 exam papers right after this week.
• wad else next, i dont know. got no idea and dont wish to know yet.

• i know you guys know i do drink. and one huge problem arise here,
  • firstly, if i had never drink with you before, be it barcadi, vodka or wad, thats mean i dont feel comfortable/ safe/ secure drinking with you. so dont ever ask me to drink with you, unless i had approached you first.
  • stop saying that go drink to temporary hide your sorrow. dude/ babe, i had did that once, and it will be the last time. cause it will only make you feel worst after you had woke up the next day. and my room stink!
• stop asking me to find another guy just to heal the current wound. this is totally shit!
  • firstly, to some girls who change boyfriends like changing underwear, im not as "trendy" as you to constantly play with people's feelings and dispose them like some dirt. so just stop asking to me another guy to replace the one. i just cant be one of you.
  • secondly, i dont believe this shits. cause is never easy to let go something so dear to you, for example, your family members.
  • think twice before acting, some girls just deserve it. you never know what type of guy you will be facing next. be it they are insane or perharps sex maniac, you wont know what you will get in return for toying their feelings.
  • be true to your heart, and be kind to others' heart, all of us deserve true love.  
• stop asking me to invite you to my house and say to accompany me.
  • i can survive on my own. furthermore, i got my family members, my hamster and my maid to accompany. so i do not need any of you to come over to my place to accompany and especially we are not that close in the first place.
  • and stop thinking that without you i cant survive. WTH! i will just smack this sentence straight to your face, " we do not need anyone in order to survive in this world." one huge dumbass.

with this, good morning to all, and good night for me.
 

good luck for your paper ltr!(:

没完没了的梦，打扰我的睡眠。
有好有坏。
梦里的人，几乎只有那几个人。
好梦只是短暂的，而，噩梦会把她吓醒。
有想过，哭过就算了，但并非没有我想象中的容易。
我没有那么坚强去承受着一个礼拜所发生的事，我只能说我会尝试当那个你们所认识的女生，掩饰着真正的心情，慢慢地走回过去。
所以，请不用担心。

至J:

我知道你那天不想再听人和辩护她的话。所以，我也不想多说。
你和我的情况不同。
多了解她，你就会明白为什么她为什么会那么对你。
而，原因其实是很简单的。
我虽然不赞同她的做法，但，她并不想把事情闹得那么疆。
别把事情扭曲成你以为歪理。
我只能说身为个男孩想真的理解一个女孩子的想法并不容易。女孩的心也蛮难猜得透。尝试去接受她的心情的变化，去了解她的心声，凡是就会容易些吧。
而，女孩子也无法渗透的了解一个男孩在想什么。
你们才刚复合，记得凡事要好好商量。
祝你们好运吧。

失去后，才懂得痛的感觉。